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my reality of love and “the one”

Posted on 31 December 2009 by josh

I hope everyone is having a glorious holidays. This is an off-the-cuff, late night post inspired by the movie, 500 Days of Summer.

50days-of-summer-poster

If you haven’t seen it, do it. It’s unbelievably well done, and unbelievably realistic. At least for me. Basically, it’s a story about two points of view on what love truly is and how to recognize it… Real life vs. Fairy tale. That conflict hit home for me. So, I thought I would go with it and see where it led me. Let’s take a walk…

I probably fall somewhere in the middle of the debate. I would call myself a “realistic romantic.” I would like to believe in the happy ending in the movies, but unfortunately, I’m not “hopeless” enough to not know what goes on after the credits. I’m very aware of the real life struggles of couples. So, what’s the answer… Is there really such a thing as “The One” that gives you butterflies every time you see her? Do you know who they are the second you say hello? Or, do you just fall in love? And after the honeymoon phase wears off, you’re left with a compatible companion, so you do the best you can?

After watching the movie, I was inspired to answer these questions for myself (I think everyone has a different, but right answer). My journey to a conclusion started with two thoughts…

1. My realistic side told me that I had no evidence of “The One” yet. I think I’ve been close. Once, the feelings weren’t mutual (Much like the movie). And another time, I couldn’t quite be sure (Again, like the movie. You see why it hit home now, huh) And, if you can’t be sure, then it doesn’t fit the definition of “The One,” right?

2. Although, I’ve seen a lot of my friends’ relationships come and go, my fairy tale romantic side was still stronger than my realistic side. In fact, it might be getting stronger as I get older.

SOOOOO… having unveiled those two revelations, does “The One” actually exist? To be completely honest, I have no freakin’ clue. But I do know this… I want her to. And that’s all that matters. I want to believe that one day a pair of eyes and an introduction are going to silent a crowded room around me. I want to believe that someone is going to make me a better person every single day I’m with her. I want to believe that I’m going to enjoy spoiling someone rotten one day. I want to believe that after 30 years of being together I can say “You know, we never really argue.” I want to believe that I can get butterflies at 80. And as long as I want to believe in those things, than I don’t want to settle for anything less. So, why would I?

Like I said, everyone has their own right answer. And believe me, I realize my mindset might very well leave me old and alone one day. But, in reality, I still think that’s better than “doing the best I can” with “The Two.”

Thanks for taking a walk with me. Nighty-night!

joshua

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